Left
by mmm donut seeds
Summary: Ed stormed in and slammed his watch on the ground as hard as he could. "I hate you."


"I hate you."

The Colonel was expecting to hear the words sooner or later, as they were not uncommon.

"I take it you didn't find the stone?"

Instead of answering, Ed just glared. He clenched his watch in his fist, absolutely seething.

"Fuck that. You don't care, no one does. I _hate_ you." There were only a few people Ed really hated, Envy, Hohenheim, and Dante. Roy had also managed to get on that list. "And I _quit_."

Ed took the watch out of his pocket and slammed it on the ground as hard as he possibly could, glared at Roy some more, and stormed out, positively furious. The entire door shook from the force with which he slammed it, and then the glass fell out in pieces on the floor. Ed really didn't give a fuck, he was way beyond pissed. No one said anything as he stormed out of the building, they were all in shock.

"What the hell just happened?"

Ed continued this kind of behavior all the way down the street, glaring at anyone who dared get in his way. He didn't really have a destination in mind, he just wanted to get as far away as fucking possible. He didn't notice when the rain started to fall, or that the sun had set long ago. He didn't notice that they were looking for him, nor did he care. He didn't pay attention to where he was going, it really didn't matter. Al was really gone, he didn't need Ed anymore. Ed trembled and held back a tortured moan. He sank to his knees and shook, willing himself not to cry. It just hurt... too much... A tiny moan escaped his lips, and he hugged the place in his chest where it ached

"Pull the car over."

Obediently the driver pulled the car over, and Roy stepped out into the rain. He stood next to the young alchemist for a little while, waiting to be noticed. Not once did Ed look up. He just stared at the ground space right in front of him.

"Fullmetal," Roy said, expecting a reaction. There wasn't one, not even a sigh. He took out the watch he had been carrying in his pocket and dropped it next to the golden haired boy. "Next time you say you quit, you better mean it," he said.

"I did mean it," Ed finally replied. "I meant every fucking word. I hate your fucking guts, you should go die somewhere. Looking at your face, it makes me sick." Roy had to strain to catch the words, but he did. The venom was missing, but there was something far more deadly. Sincerity.

"What did I do this time?"

Ed looked up, his eyes burning with hate and pain and a heartbreaking sorrow. "How the _fuck_ can you ask that?!? How can you even _pretend_ to care?!? You son of a _bitch_!!! You took _everything_ from me!!!"

Ed was now standing, hands clenched in fists at his sides. He was pissed because of the tears that were welling in his eyes, the fact that the man that he hated even more than Envy had caught him in a weak moment, and he wished Al was _here_. It was too much, a moan escaped and then the tears could not be held back. He held his middle and his head drooped in pain over the loss of his brother and the betrayal of someone he thought he could trust. Bangs covered his face, and the rain masked the fact that he was crying other than the fact that he was shaking like a leaf and the tortured noises that broke loose.

"Pull yourself together! Whatever it is, we can fix it. Get a grip, Fullmetal."

Ed wanted to retort with something biting that would make the annoying presence go away, but he felt like he was choking on sobs. He had _failed_. He hadn't been enough. He should have been smarter and faster and not so much of a miserable failure of a wimp that couldn't even stop _crying_ like a fucking _baby_. No wonder Al had left. Al had been right.

"_I'm sorry_," Ed sobbed. "_I'm so sorry..._"

Roy was now confused, Ed was rarely ever sorry. Something must be really wrong. Roy knelt in front of Ed, trying to catch his attention.

"Hey."

"What?"

Ed didn't bother replying until he was sure he could do so without his voice breaking.

"What happened?"

"Al left. He..." Ed paused and took a deep breath, willing himself into not breaking down again. "...told me that... I... that he... he decided that Hohenheim would... He'd rather be with _him_ instead of me. He... _hates_ me."

"Come on, you're going to get sick if you stay out here in the rain."

They went back to Roy's apartment, where Roy quickly made some tea and got Ed a blanket and some clothes that were not wet. Ed was exhausted, and it was tempting to just fall asleep right there.

"Here, now would you mind telling me exactly what happened?"

"When we went back Hohenheim was there, and I got mad because he ditched us and our mom. Al took his side, and still... he still looked at him like a good person, and he yelled at me for attacking him, and said that he wanted to stay with him, instead of me, and that we probably wouldn't be able to find the stone by ourselves anyway and that I was being a selfish jerk and I didn't really care about him. He said he doesn't want to see me anymore if I can't accept Hohenheim. There isn't any point in having a job in the military if Al isn't..." Ed trailed off, staring into his mug. He felt completely empty, like someone had taken out all of his insides and all that was left was a shell. "I shouldn't have yelled at you, I was just... it hurts."

"What are you going to do then?"

"I don't know, but I'm not going to just forgive Hohenheim. Not after he..."

"Not even for Al?"

"It's not fair of him to ask me to do that. He _knows_ how I feel about..."

"Maybe you two should just talk it over, I'm sure he must be feeling upset too." This was met with more silence, though it was more because actually realistic than Ed was trying to prevent a breakdown. "So you really hate me, huh?"

"I wasn't thinking, all that was running through my mind was that if we hadn't gone to laboratory five and seen the opportunity to get the stone and the cost... I know that's part of the reason Al doesn't want to be around me anymore, because I almost..." Ed took a deep breath. "I'm scared."

"You should get some sleep, it's been a long day, and I'm assuming you haven't slept properly in a while."

Ed was already gently snoring on the couch, the mug forgotten by his hand on the floor.


End file.
